


quiet rooms

by lemontoads



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Again, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Gen, Hotel Rooms, M/M, Oops, Romantic Fluff, has anyone looked at lee minhyuk lately he might be in love, what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25210147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontoads/pseuds/lemontoads
Summary: Minhyuk’s fingers trace over the bleached material, slowly feeling each individual bump and dip one by one, like a god would trace the hills and valleys of his creation, if he ever so pleased. He takes a deep breath. The ceiling looks so smooth. Bump, dip, bump, dip, bump. He splays his fingers and pushes them hard into the foam.
Relationships: Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	quiet rooms

_Grand Hotel_ , reads every other decorative item in the barely lit room. He can hear the low humming noise of the air conditioning and maybe this mattress _is_ deepest memory foam he’s ever fallen into. Minhyuk’s fingers trace over the bleached material, slowly feeling each individual bump and dip one by one, like a god would trace the hills and valleys of his creation, if he ever so pleased. He takes a deep breath. The ceiling looks so smooth. Bump, dip, bump, dip, bump. He splays his fingers and pushes them hard into the foam.

Time feels slow.

He breathes out. Can’t get comfortable like this. Sits up.

There’re times like these, when his brain runs on some kind of autopilot, when he zones out and finds himself fidgeting and his body doing things he doesn’t first consciously decide on. There is no specific intention in his mind when he stands up and walks over to the other bed. He just needs to fill the space, fill the time, to place something within him, he needs to put the missing piece of something into the something-shaped hole somewhere in time, in space, in his being. Like a habit with many steps. Like a tick that lasts a minute. There is no final picture, nothing of particular importance in his thoughts when he sits behind Jooheon, long legs bracketing his. He snakes his arms around his sides and adjusts himself to get comfortable. Slowly, he rests his head on Jooheon’s back and pays attention to the way the muscle under his cheek tightens for only a split-second before the body under him relaxes and shifts to accommodate for his weight.

“…’m glad I found you.” he says, mutters, because he wants to. It’s just the first thing on his mind.

Jooheon laughs shortly, the vibration of it travelling through his body and raising goosebumps on Minhyuk’s skin. “Found me?”

Minhyuk blinks sleepily. He thinks back to the times when it wasn’t like this, when Jooheon was just one of six. Because finding the Jooheon he knows today took a while.

Back then, forever ago in what now seems like another lifetime, he’d always have pieces of Hyungwon to keep safe, like a child would keep safe their favorite shell they’d picked up on the beach and brought home. And later, they’d keep safe the memory of it. As something that matters in a way that other people don’t understand. Whether it’s still the same or not.

Later, when sharp parts of Kihyun meddled into his life it wasn’t long before he’d catch the ones with the edges filed down into surprising delicacy, like the touch of his attentive hands or the softened look in his eyes when something went wrong, the quiet support for everything he did, his reassuring, sometimes infuriating presence only driving Minhyuk forward.

He’d often stop to pick up small shards of Hyunwoo and tried his best to hold them high enough, arms sore with the effort, so they could shine brightly for everyone else to see.

Somewhere along the way, he’s found himself cradling a lot of Hoseok and he’s never been able to put it all down. Never wanted to.

Lately, Changkyun would leave sprinkles of himself here and there. In little touches and stretchy nighttime conversations they’d stick onto Minhyuk as easily as glue.

Minhyuk doesn’t quite remember when exactly the little pieces of Jooheon that came along the way formed into a path that he’d follow anywhere. He doesn’t know, and so every day he only gathers the fragments in his mind and Jooheon in his arms, so perfect for him. And he never has enough.

“Yeah.” he says against the warm cotton.

And then it’s a lot and maybe he’s clutching too tight even if Jooheon doesn’t probably even notice because the light of his phone still shines through the loose sleeve of his shirt that Minhyuk can see, but Minhyuk has to do something, _anything_ , and so,

“I CHALLENGE YOU— !” he screeches as he puts Jooheon into a headlock and pulls him backwards.

“Shi-“ Jooheon fumbles, phone flying to the foot of the bed, but then he regains control and it’s him who’s trying to pull Minhyuk forward and over his head. “At _3am_?” he huffs out with a lot of effort and it almost sounds annoyed. Almost.

“Gotta surprise the enemy.” Minhyuk huffs back and thinks about how dumb he is, because Jooheon does crossfit now and he’s kind of being pulled upside down at the moment, which wasn’t the plan, because there was no plan.

A dire situation requires drastic measures, Minhyuk thinks as he rolls them to the side where he dares to suspect the bed should end (he’s still upside down and can’t see). Hitting the - thankfully thickly carpeted - floor with the stupidest kind of thud kind of confirms his suspicion.

“Oof” Jooheon says when they land in tangle of arms and legs and Minhyuk’s ass hurts and will bruise, life is a struggle, but right now also a battle of who has more unoccupied limbs to use.

That’s why it’s a good thing that Minhyuk was blessed with good shoulders and he’s faster than he looks.

“Ha!” he’s got Jooheon under him, holding his forearms down, knees on either side of his hips and Jooheon is looking up at him, panting, color high in his face and Minhyuk knows he fucked up, because maybe starting a wrestling match was in this case like trying to put out a cigarette and accidentally throwing it into a puddle of gasoline.

He doesn’t ponder for long though, because mere seconds later he’s on the floor in a movement that screams rug burn and Jooheon has him pinned down, the synthetic carpet hair tickling Minhyuk’s nostrils.

“Ha what?” He snarls close into Minhyuk’s ear with a knee on his back and Minhyuk prays to dissolve into the floor because that’s disgusting but also hot as fuck, the air is also hot as fuck, this room is suddenly hot as fuck and he needs to think fast.

“Okay ow ow careful that’s my precious wrist you’re breaking” he cries deliberately and smirks as the hands let go off him in an instant. The weight on him disappears and he rolls onto his back, fringe falling into his eyes as a now really worried Jooheon looms over his head in a funny angle. Soft idiot.

“Oh no, are you hur-“, he tries to ask but Minhyuk yells “Fire in the hole!” instead and throws himself at him with an appropriate battle grunt.

Now, a normal person would’ve surely just pretended that they’re hurt or tired and just called it a night. But Minhyuk isn’t just any normal person. Whatever he’s going to do when he gets there is currently escaping his mind, but letting gravity do all the work for him works just fine now and so he wraps his arms around Jooheon’s neck in a choke-hug and pushes forward hoping to eventually go down and end up on top. And for a split second he’s a genius and it works, until Jooheon manages to prop himself up against the floor with his arms mid-fall and now it’s just Minhyuk in Jooheon’s lap wrapped around his shoulders like a monkey around a tree branch.

“Fuck” he curses and tries to push more but it’s no use, Jooheon’s lodged in position and not moving. What’s worse, he snorts as if Minhyuk’s attempt was in any way as funny as it was in his own mind powerful. After careful deliberation Minhyuk settles on being offended.

“Okay, get off. I don’t wanna… go to bed all sweaty.” Jooheon says between trying to catch his breath as he pushes himself up to sit properly, but his hands come up to carefully rest on Minhyuk’s waist.

Minhyuk grits his teeth. “I’m still in the perfect position to choke you.” he says, but he sags and settles into a good old regular hug, chin on Jooheon’s shoulder.

“You can’t choke me, I’m your only friend. Everyone else’s abandoned you ‘cos you’re so annoying.”

Minhyuk hits him on the back, but it’s more like an angry pat.

It is somewhat coming to him that they’re both breathing heavily, stacked on top of each other in a dimly lit hotel room and for a moment there’s alarm bells ringing in Minhyuk’s brain about something, which he immediately forgets because it gets overshadowed by how warm Jooheon feels against the air-conditioned space and how good he smells and how nice that is.

He wraps himself more comfortably around his shoulders just to… just to be there.

He stares at a wall and it kind of hits him again. “What am I gonna do with you?” he mumbles, more to himself than anyone else.

“What’s with being cryptic today? What do you mean, do with me?”

Minhyuk stills. And thinks. He thinks really hard. Maybe he should just roll with it. “I can’t tell anymore.” he says.

Jooheon cranes his neck to look at him. “Mm?”

Slowly dislodging himself from his current position, Minhyuk moves to sit back up on the bed.

Jooheon climbs to sit next to him. “So?”

He takes a deep breath. ”I want to try something different but I’m scared.” Oooh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit he’s going there.

“Different? You gonna eat mint choco now, or?”

“Oh my god different _with you_.”

“Oh. Like... oohh?” Jooheon’s palms fly up to cover his mouth. “You wanna form a dance duo? Cover Michael Jackson together like I said? Holy shit.”

Minhyuk stares at him for a while. “Close your eyes, Jooheon.”

Jooheon blinks at him, hands falling down. “What? Why? I’m not falling for that anymore, last time you and Kihyun got me to do that I almost died.”

“Just do it. Kihyun’s not here now. Can’t you trust me for once?”

“It would be nice if I didn’t get into near heart attack experiences for trusting you… Like that time in Paris…” he mutters but his eyes are already pressed shut.

This is it. He has Jooheon fully at his disposal. Shit. Fuck. Oh God. Let’s do this.

He doesn’t know where to start. His hand is trembling as he fists it pathetically at the collar of Jooheon’s shirt and tries to focus on his mouth. Why is it so hard to actually do something?

Jooheon squeezes his eyes shut tighter and purses his lips. “Is this like… did you see a new chiropractic move on youtube and you’ll break my neck with a single twist? Am I the first victim? Cuz Shownu hyung is more durable I think you should try him first…”

Jesus Christ. He can’t do this.

“I’m trying to have an intimate moment, can you shut up?”

“An intimate…?” Jooheon eyes fly open wide. “WERE YOU GOING TO SMOOCH ME?!”

Minhyuk blinks. Makes a face like he just hit his toe, or as if his lemonade was too sour. He kind of wants to disappear.

“M-maybe?” He drops his hand down from Jooheon’s shirt and stares at the floor.

“Okay then. Go ahead.”

Minhyuk’s head whips back up in nanoseconds. “Really?”

Jooheon nods, face suddenly pink, eyes closing again. “One of us has to do it.” he says, voice low.

Minhyuk gapes. “One of us? Has to?? As in…? You…?” He forms the words like a fish gasping for water and his insides are so warm, his face is so warm, he is so warm what is he going to do with all the warm?

“Shh just do it before I freak out.”

Minhyuk looks at him and then he looks at his lips and Jooheon sucks in a breath and frowns like he’s expecting a punch and Minhyuk gulps.

He throws is arms up. “I can’t do it like this!”

Jooheon opens his eyes and deflates.

“You do it.” Minhyuk says.

Jooheon seems to think about it. For a second, his mouth forms a thin line, dimples digging into his face. Then he’s neutral. “Okay.” he says resolutely. “Close your eyes.”

Minhyuk does as he’s told, hands sweating where they rest on his thighs and his heart is about to give out from nerves. What are they doing? How did he get here? What if this is a mistake? What if it sucks? It already feels…

“Weird. It’s too weird like this.” he hears Jooheon say somewhere close. “Can’t do it.”

Minhyuk springs to stand up. He looks around the room, finds no solution and starts pacing around.

“I never should’ve said anything! Now it’s all ruined forever! What now? Is this, like, gonna hang in the air forever?”

“Of course not let’s just… do it some other time?”

“And when is that going to be? Because—” his voice dies off, he stops and stands, eyes on the wall.

“Because what?”

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jooheon rub at his nose nervously.

It’s enough to make Minhyuk turn back around. “I just…” he begins and all he can come up with next is it to outstretch his arms, hands grabby towards Jooheon who’s sitting across the room and make a sad face.

Jooheon only looks up at him once before grabbing his phone to set it on the bedside table and then Minhyuk watches him lay down on his back, head bouncing against the fluffed up pillows.

“I’m waiting.” he says simply, hands resting one over the other on his stomach, eyes on the ceiling.

Minhyuk stands still, letting his arms fall to his sides. He bites into his bottom lip but then he just sighs. They don’t have to kiss tonight. Maybe. He just needs to... what is it exactly that he needs to do?

His heart beats hard as he walks back and crawls on the bed next to Jooheon. They’ve been here a million times, this should be safe territory. Is it? Here, in a quiet moment, away from everyone else, only the two of them. Something is different, though. Or rather, maybe it’s him who wants it to be different. This time he doesn’t lay down to lightly spoon and sleep. This time he kneels next to him, over him, eyes cast down on Jooheon’s hands still resting on his stomach, unsure.

Jooheon looks up. “It can wait.” he whispers.

Minhyuk doesn’t say anything, instead, he takes a careful hand and cups his face. Jooheon closes his eyes and Minhyuk can see the way Jooheon’s fingers curl a little where they rest, but he keeps them in place. Minhyuk slides the hand down to rest on his shoulder. He doesn’t look at Jooheon’s face, just watches the way his chest rises and falls for a while, hoping the movement would calm him down in its simplicity. _It can wait._

He wants so much. He puts his hand back on Jooheon’s cheek, thumb caressing the skin, but this time Jooheon lifts his hand and places it ever his. His eyes stay open now, looking up at Minhyuk, a small smile on his lips.

And Minhyuk feels… happy. He’s already so lucky. He lasts no more than a few seconds before letting go and dipping down to hide his face in the crook of Jooheon’s neck and to lay on top of him and it's like Jooheon understands, knows exactly how to make Minhyuk relax the most, because he’s already wrapping his arms around him and sneaking a hand into his hair to massage his nape and scalp.

“You’re a bit heavy”, he murmurs and Minhyuk feels lips and a warm breath brush his temple.

He hums apologetically and Jooheon rolls them over so he can lay on his side and Minhyuk adjusts to fit into his arms better and tangle their legs. It’s a trial and error as Jooheon angles his head up and Minhyuk noses at the base of his throat, but they fit.

Minhyuk listens to the sound the hand in his hair makes when trimmed nails graze gently against his scalp, to Jooheon’s even breathing and his own warm exhales against the collar of Jooheon’s shirt.

No one else knows him on such a fundamental level. No one else waits for him the way Jooheon always waits for him, knows what he needs and gives it every time, or just allows him to take it, indulging what Minhyuk feels is an endless greed over and over again. He could lay here forever, content and with only that aching need to find out what is it exactly that Jooheon wants, to know without asking so he can give it, offer it raw and ready. And whether it includes to one day cross the thin, thin line between platonic and romantic, the one they’ve been dancing and wrestling around every single day, he doesn’t know.

He loves him so much, he realizes. He loves him so much he needs to try.

He frees one of his arms that rests around Jooheon’s waist. He starts on Jooheon’s knee, feels the soft fabric of the thin sweatpants with his hand, circles his fingers around the shape before slowly sliding his palm up his thigh, feeling the body pressed against him take in a sharp breath and Jooheon’s hand halts to a stop in Minhyuk’s hair.

It’s so hard to read him sometimes. At first glance it seems like it shouldn’t be, but Minhyuk knows that even if being loud and expressive isn’t a complete front, Jooheon keeps a lot to himself. He’s grateful for what he’s been trusted with until now.

Minhyuk tries to trust a lot in return, tries to balance it out, not too little, not too much, because sometimes he thinks he knows and then he doesn’t. He tries to treat relationships like all the little pieces of themselves they offer to each other are being placed on scales, but with Jooheon he still can’t help carefully setting down a larger shard on his own side sometimes, or rather it just drops from his chest accidentally like the warmest, most terrifying thing ever. Lately though, he’s found that Jooheon helps him balance it out on his own, piling on his side in private whispers and affection. Lately nothing is too much.

He keeps his eyes closed as if that would make him focus any better and his hand travels up to cup around Jooheon’s hip, long thumb caressing above his waist. It’s so warm even with a layer of fabric between his fingers and Jooheon’s skin and suddenly Minhyuk hesitates for a moment. It’s not like touching is anything new between them. It’s the air feeling heavier with his intention.

“Tell me if I need to stop, okay?” he says quietly against Jooheon’s collarbone.

“Mhm.” Jooheon hums into the crown of his head and Minhyuk takes it as a green light.

He untucks Jooheon’s shirt from where it’s fitted into the waistband and hesitates for two more seconds, feeling the urgency in him like a slowed down song where the chords hit with a deep, heavy echo and in that moment Jooheon sighs and tightens his hold around him and Minhyuk doesn’t need more of a permission to slip his hand under the fabric a feel the skin underneath. It’s not warm, it’s feverishly hot as his palm slowly slides from his waist to splay on the muscles of his back. He nuzzles closer. Jooheon’s body has always been so pretty, so welcoming to his touch.

He can imagine many things, many outcomes, he has imagined them a thousand times, been embarrassed by it a million times, pushed it down, threw it behind his back and dragged it with him until it became so, so heavy. He wants, burns, to go further, to slowly take Jooheon apart only for his own eyes to see, in that special way that only he knows how to handle him, which he’s been secretly so proud of, to let him dig nails into his skin, throw an expensive shirt over the marks and make it their little secret or to tell everyone and make all the angels of heaven sing about what he’s done, or to let Jooheon take the lead and show Minhyuk just how passionate he can get, because Minhyuk knows he can and it’s killing him every day and night, but something… something is stopping him. He bites down on his bottom lip.

That’s not the only thing he wants.

He pulls back, unwraps himself from Jooheon’s arms and pushes himself up to the pillows so that they’re facing each other but still with enough space between them.

“It’s too fast, isn’t it”, he says quietly.

He needs to do this differently. Slower, less raw desire and more rational thought, less of everything at once like his creative brain likes to supply. Make a sketch first. Painting a masterpiece takes time.

Jooheon shrugs, eyes hooded. “It’s… something.”

Minhyuk studies his face in the dim light and recognizes his own doubt as he watches Jooheon sigh through his nose and look down shyly, but Minhyuk will be patient, he will chase his gaze, he’ll wait for Jooheon’s sharp eyes to finally meet his, even if it still makes him feel like he could drown.

“What if—”, Jooheon starts but Minhyuk puts a finger on his heart-shaped lips to shut him up, because suddenly he really wants to drown.

“I’ll figure it out.” he says and he’s surprised at his own sudden burst of bravery.

He fits a hand to the side of Jooheon’s neck, thumb stroking his jawline. Jooheon was right. One of them _has to_ do it.

Minhyuk will do it.

He’ll do it for himself, because he’s selfish like that and if it breaks he’ll break with it and maybe Kihyun will help to glue him back together, maybe Hoseok will hold him during the lonely nights. He’ll do it for Jooheon too, because Jooheon deserves someone who isn’t a coward who never did it. Minhyuk will do it and use the days he’ll get to make Jooheon feel loved, because that’s his best shot, that’s all he has. And so he moves like a calm tide lured in by the moon, eyes closed and breath on hold, makes the touch last maybe two seconds, probably not even three and pulls back.

It’s so simple, but right after it’s done Minhyuk feels like he’s the entire ocean trying to fit into a single cup again. Too fast? Too slow? “So?” he whispers, breath shaky.

Jooheon looks at him weird. He doesn’t say anything.

Nervousness creeps into Minhyuk’s bones in waves. He’s no longer brave. His hand slides down, follows the curve of Jooheon’s shoulder and grabs his arm to knead his bicep as a distraction. “If you stay quiet any longer I might die.” he announces, thumb digging in and it was dramatic, but felt very real at the moment.

“I… uh…” Minhyuk watches him struggle and scrunch his face. And then Jooheon moves closer into his space, so close that Minhyuk can see the very details of him that he’s until now only studied in secret. “…do that again?” Jooheon asks quietly, his fingers closing around the fabric of Minhyuk’s shirt.

Minhyuk tries not to freak out. “Will you meet me halfway?” he whispers and his hand moves from Jooheon’s arm to his nape, tugging at the trimmed hair lightly.

Jooheon nods as much as the closeness allows him and even in the shitty light he’s visibly blushing so much that if Minhyuk couldn’t see it he can for sure feel it and it’s making him want to scream a little.

He moves the few centimeters to kiss him again. There wasn’t really enough space for Jooheon to even meet him halfway, he realizes, but it doesn’t matter.

It starts as more of a proper kiss now, he lingers, tastes, angles his head to fit better, his own hot skin brushing against Jooheon’s cheek. He’s anxious right until the moment when plush lips move against his own and an arm slips around his torso, warm fingers splaying on his back and pushing him in with so much want that it has all of his nerves flaring up. He doesn’t open up fully yet, just a bit, grabs the fistful of Jooheon’s dark hair tighter instead and feels electric when he presses closer, more confident, like a force of nature that can be sure in its capabilities.

It’s not as huge or even as long as he thought it would be, he doesn’t have to pour everything into it. That’s impossible. He’s not trying to fit all of himself on the scales. He’s not making up for lost years because those years were not lost, it all counts, adds up. It’s not heavy because of the past but all the lighter for it. It doesn’t have to stop the movement of the Earth, only stopping his little world is enough. And even if his stomach is swooping up and down the entire time and his heart hammers in his chest, it’s relaxing in its own way. He can leave the thin line behind him, he can take a foot and erase his own path through it. He breaks the kiss with a teasing lick.

“So?” he whispers again, letting go of Jooheon’s hair and sliding his hand to his neck again.

What he doesn’t expect is for Jooheon to lean in once more and rub their noses together affectionately and then pull back like he needs to look at him better. “…love you.” he says casually, eyes piercing and a bit wide in a way that makes him look slightly surprised too.

Minhyuk’s brain fogs up. He’s heard it countless times, but never like this. He’s always known Jooheon was fond of the affection he’s been giving him, he knows that he doesn’t mind the touching, the cuddling, the time spent together. He’s suspected something, otherwise he would’ve never tried. And when Jooheon implied it by saying one of them has to do it, he expected some level of fondness. Or horniness. ~I fancy youu~, Twice sang in his head, but Nayeon always added a little ~maybee?~ at the end when he thought of himself from Jooheon’s perspective. Just a little crushing, a bit of an experimental flirt, a way to pass the time in a way they can both sate their touchy nature. A tiny smidge of I like you. Minhyuk was prepared, if it worked, to go on a couple of dates, to kiss a lot and maybe then confess when it became unbearable, or just when it didn’t feel like he’s here to suffocate everything with his big, huge skyscraper-high feelings of being completely gone.

So he just kind of goes still and stares for two seconds, before lunging forward again and swallowing the small sound that escapes Jooheon at the surprise. A dam has been broken and now he can do whatever he wants, he drags his teeth along Jooheon’s lower lip, kisses the wet corner of his mouth, his cheek, his eyebrow, makes the smack sound comically loud, hugs Jooheon’s head to his chest and throws a leg over his side like a lunatic. He feels like he might implode if he doesn’t at least attempt to meld their bodies into one.

“Ow”, Jooheon says, voice muffled by Minhyuk’s shirt. He tries to free his arms from between their bodies and at least snake one around Minhyuk’s middle. Minhyuk registers this, but he’s too freaked out to care.

“Baby, you’re so cute” Minhyuk croaks out, and he says nothing else.

“You okay?” Jooheon shifts around to get more comfortable. Minhyuk kisses the top of his head, hair tickling his nose. He stays quiet.

“Uh... wanna sleep then? I just thought of saying that, you don’t have to—“

“Baby” he says again like a broken record.

“Mm?”

Minhyuk tries to relax. He tries to sound fond, not desperate, and honest, not rushed. He’s in a staring contest with a tuft of Jooheon’s hair. “You know I love you most in the world, right? You know that, right? I don’t… I love you so much I don’t know how to say it so it means more but I love you so so much.” His voice is quieter than he wanted it to be.

Minhyuk can’t see his face, but he can feel the way Jooheon relaxes in his arms with a sigh, hand squeezing above Minhyuk’s hip. “I know.” he says.

**Author's Note:**

> *tries to come up with an au but gets distracted and accidentally writes another canon compliant plotless crap* oh shoot
> 
> thank you for all the comments, honestly any comments, if you decide to leave them. i accidentally ? stopped replying because i'm a procrastinator and because i don't know what to say besides a pathetic thank you over and over again. just know that if you ever left me a comment there's a very high 100% chance that i've read it two hundred times ;; thx you guys have no taste in literature but you're sweet ;;;;;; haven't posted in a while and as you can see in that time i learned nothing about writing this is all over the place as usual but maybe you'll enjoy
> 
> edit 7/19/20 so i had an unfinished sentence in the middle and no one told me??? almost 200 hits in oh the humiliation


End file.
